I'll tell you a secret, little tiger. In my opinion as a cleric, blessings are just something that people say to make each other feel better - they are often paper thin. The gods rarely listen to the needs or whims of people, and faith is a way we prop each other up when we suffer.

[ damn temenos tell us how you really feel about the church. but he continues, a moment later. ]

Rather, it is the actions of others, and the actions we take ourselves, against the misery that life so often deals us that form a blessing. It sounds as if your life has been far, far crueler to you than it should be, but the lights you find along that path are yours to find, and yours alone. In a sense, that makes them oft sweeter. They make up for little, but they light the way forward, nonetheless.

I have the feeling that you have spent much time, perhaps rightfully so, looking into the shadows of your life. Would that be correct?