[ that's what he thought you'd say, you dumb bird. ]
I think there are some places you go above your job, Phoenix. But fine. I'll revoke my thanks if you're so insistent. [ the tone is a joke, but he will drop it if they want. ]
[ he tilts his head, finding this a little funny but also maybe not. curious, really. ]
...I know I've caused a few problems already. And I'm going to tell you that I will likely cause more problems in the future. [ THANKS. ] But I do appreciate the help you've been able to give so far. Even if it's just listening as I talk myself in circles.
[ ...maybe a joke, but likely not. sometimes you are aggressively aware of your own shortcomings. ]
[ amused: ] Thanks for the warning. I'll look forward to it.
I'd be happy to do that even if I weren't your leader, but I'm glad that it's been helpful to you. It's not always easy to work some things out for yourself.
No problem. I don't often warn people before it happens, so consider this a stroke of luck. [ shut up, nico. but he settles back into being quiet and a little more serious with that. ]
...up until recently it's not like I had much of a choice. So maybe I still think it's the only solution even knowing that's not the case. There are some things I think only I can work out, but I'm trying to be better. Especially when so many people are at risk.
[ teasing, but only for a second as nico continues. ]
Some things you can only learn for yourself, over time. Other things, you may need a helping hand with. That's how it is for everyone, even me. All we can ask for is to try.
[ ...maybe he's pushing his luck with this, but he figures he can at least ask. ]
Phoenix, what are the things you feel like you need a helping hand with? Not just...solving what's happening here or finding papers or any of that. In general. Just for you.
[ surprised, phoenix pauses. then they shift to hold their chin as they think on how to answer. ]
For me... Well, as you've already noticed, I'm not the best with technology. It took me... probably longer than it should have, to accept it, let alone begin to use it myself.
Besides that? I am generally good at reading people, but there are some that I simply have a hard time relating to. I've needed others who know them better to help me start to understand why they do certain things that don't make sense to me. Why they are the way they are. Sometimes, their way of life is so antithetical to how I prefer to live that even talking to someone doesn't help me understand them any better.
[ a beat. ]
And my partner might say that I need taking care of, I guess, but I've been handling myself perfectly well so far.
[ honestly he sort of figured nobody's really asked phoenix outright, so that's his job now. ]
You've been managing pretty well. [ just a soft note because listen. he can't talk. he has gotten much better with technology but also he understands. the rest though...does and doesn't surprise him. for someone like phoenix who has a tendency to observe and take note of other people, he can understand why it might be hard, and even sometimes frustrating, to not know how to connect with someone.
nico himself isn't always good at it. he has a tendency to find the forgotten or the misunderstood and remind them that people will pay attention if allowed, but for more social creatures, or people vastly different than him, sometimes he struggles with how to understand. he nods along because he believes he understands, even if not 100%, and then he pauses because. huh.
okay. he doesn't quite assume what partner means in this sense, but does it matter? he's met people like tama and ryuki, and he knows how he and will are. it's two people matching each other beat for beat and working to make sure the other person doesn't drown.
also. he kind of huffs a laugh because he would make the same argument about himself and it's just weird how much they do sync up on that level. ]
It's always a little weird to be used to doing something and find some examples harder than others. I don't always have the patience to understand why, but I try. I think in those moments it's better to ask for help just because...you know. People are complicated.
[ he does raise an eyebrow. ]
And if I were to ask your partner what your idea of "handling yourself" is, what would they say?
I've never been that patient when I don't understand, either.
[ sometimes you get frustrated and don't give it enough time. ]
I can do the chores and things just fine. And I may not be the best cook, but I can still make rice. It's not my shortcomings that make him want to do everything for me.
[ though exasperated, their voice is still fond. ]
And now I kind of want to know if you've ever lost your patience trying to understand any of us so far. [ it's a joke. phoenix does not have to answer. still...listen, making rice is a good skill to have. it's debatable if nico knows how to cook at all when he forgets food is real half the time, but he recognizes that fond tone.
it sounds familiar. ]
I've tried to tell Will I can handle things myself just fine, but I know he doesn't always believe me. [ which is both something thoughtful and a touch guilty because nico is also extremely aware of his own shortcomings. ] And I've tried to tell myself that it's not the inadequacies that make him want to take care of me. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But I think...those kinds of people are extremely stubborn anyway for that reason.
[ moving on. ]
...do you miss him? [ because he knows at least fox has someone from their world here (and he suspects goat, just based on how they talk about each other), but he has no idea about anyone else so it's a guess that perhaps they are here alone. ]
For any of you? Not yet. We're all just alike enough in certain ways that I don't think that will be a problem.
It's just like that. They want to be able to take care of us, whether we need it or not. I don't fault them for it, but sometimes it does get a little overbearing, doesn't it?
[ sighs. but they smile all the same. ]
Of course I do. And he's going to be falling apart with worry once he learns I'm not there.
[ me realizing i meant to grab birb post-cyoa but it's fine ill be back for a saturday chat and share. anyway. ]
The overlap helps. I understand some members of our team better than others, but...I'm working on others. I can't promise it's going well but I'm trying.
[ ...a huff of understanding. ]
Overbearing is a good word for it, but maybe we're partially to blame for letting it happen. [ maybe they're partially to blame for enjoying it anyway. but he doesn't say that. ] ...how does that all work anyway? Us being here and them being there. How long can we avoid people knowing we're missing?
That's how it always is. You won't get along with everyone right from the get-go. Even I don't always get along with my usual team.
[ they laugh. ]
Letting it happen... I don't think I could stop him if I tried. [ the humor bleeds out a moment later. ] As for that... Amethyst Snake is holding the fort. They've stopped time in our worlds for now.
[ ah. right. phoenix's history. he hasn't forgotten, but admittedly he's still kind of awkward about outright asking certain things and there's never been a good time to bring it up. ]
That makes two of us. [ it's much better now though. ] ...I do still want to hear about your team and everything sometime. When you think there's time. There's a lot I want to know, now that I think about it.
[ mostly because he recognizes how much overlap exists and it's reassuring. he thinks if he understands phoenix better, he can help more. there's a sympathetic little look because he sure does know how it is when a partner is stubborn, but then his expression fades to something thoughtful. ]
So I guess I should be thanking them next time I see them? I don't...even really want to think about what would be happening at home if time kept going.
[ if only because they expect nico to have more questions about their time in this city, as well, and they still don't know much more than they've already shared about that. ]
Mm. They look at it as their job, in a way, but everyone appreciates a little gratitude, once in a while. Especially now that they're doing it for so many of you.
One of these days when we have more time and don't have an execution tomorrow. [ i.e. so i can wrap this and focus on new. ] But I appreciate it.
Same principle though. Even if it's a job, it deserves the acknowledgement. So I'll mention it when I get there. Whenever that may be. [ ... ] I have questions about it, but I think I'll save those for them, too.
Well you do live in our dorm. That makes it a little easier. [ haha. ] If I can come up with the right questions and make them sound not...stupid, I'll ask what I can. Thanks, Phoenix.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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In a way it feels like maybe we should be thanking you a little for trying to make things easier on us.
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Why not?
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I think there are some places you go above your job, Phoenix. But fine. I'll revoke my thanks if you're so insistent. [ the tone is a joke, but he will drop it if they want. ]
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I never said I don't like being appreciated.
[ it sounds like they could be teasing? but also maybe not? debatable. ]
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...I know I've caused a few problems already. And I'm going to tell you that I will likely cause more problems in the future. [ THANKS. ] But I do appreciate the help you've been able to give so far. Even if it's just listening as I talk myself in circles.
[ ...maybe a joke, but likely not. sometimes you are aggressively aware of your own shortcomings. ]
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I'd be happy to do that even if I weren't your leader, but I'm glad that it's been helpful to you. It's not always easy to work some things out for yourself.
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...up until recently it's not like I had much of a choice. So maybe I still think it's the only solution even knowing that's not the case. There are some things I think only I can work out, but I'm trying to be better. Especially when so many people are at risk.
[ phoenix may have that iota of honesty. ]
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[ teasing, but only for a second as nico continues. ]
Some things you can only learn for yourself, over time. Other things, you may need a helping hand with. That's how it is for everyone, even me. All we can ask for is to try.
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Phoenix, what are the things you feel like you need a helping hand with? Not just...solving what's happening here or finding papers or any of that. In general. Just for you.
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For me... Well, as you've already noticed, I'm not the best with technology. It took me... probably longer than it should have, to accept it, let alone begin to use it myself.
Besides that? I am generally good at reading people, but there are some that I simply have a hard time relating to. I've needed others who know them better to help me start to understand why they do certain things that don't make sense to me. Why they are the way they are. Sometimes, their way of life is so antithetical to how I prefer to live that even talking to someone doesn't help me understand them any better.
[ a beat. ]
And my partner might say that I need taking care of, I guess, but I've been handling myself perfectly well so far.
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You've been managing pretty well. [ just a soft note because listen. he can't talk. he has gotten much better with technology but also he understands. the rest though...does and doesn't surprise him. for someone like phoenix who has a tendency to observe and take note of other people, he can understand why it might be hard, and even sometimes frustrating, to not know how to connect with someone.
nico himself isn't always good at it. he has a tendency to find the forgotten or the misunderstood and remind them that people will pay attention if allowed, but for more social creatures, or people vastly different than him, sometimes he struggles with how to understand. he nods along because he believes he understands, even if not 100%, and then he pauses because. huh.
okay. he doesn't quite assume what partner means in this sense, but does it matter? he's met people like tama and ryuki, and he knows how he and will are. it's two people matching each other beat for beat and working to make sure the other person doesn't drown.
also. he kind of huffs a laugh because he would make the same argument about himself and it's just weird how much they do sync up on that level. ]
It's always a little weird to be used to doing something and find some examples harder than others. I don't always have the patience to understand why, but I try. I think in those moments it's better to ask for help just because...you know. People are complicated.
[ he does raise an eyebrow. ]
And if I were to ask your partner what your idea of "handling yourself" is, what would they say?
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[ sometimes you get frustrated and don't give it enough time. ]
I can do the chores and things just fine. And I may not be the best cook, but I can still make rice. It's not my shortcomings that make him want to do everything for me.
[ though exasperated, their voice is still fond. ]
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it sounds familiar. ]
I've tried to tell Will I can handle things myself just fine, but I know he doesn't always believe me. [ which is both something thoughtful and a touch guilty because nico is also extremely aware of his own shortcomings. ] And I've tried to tell myself that it's not the inadequacies that make him want to take care of me. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But I think...those kinds of people are extremely stubborn anyway for that reason.
[ moving on. ]
...do you miss him? [ because he knows at least fox has someone from their world here (and he suspects goat, just based on how they talk about each other), but he has no idea about anyone else so it's a guess that perhaps they are here alone. ]
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It's just like that. They want to be able to take care of us, whether we need it or not. I don't fault them for it, but sometimes it does get a little overbearing, doesn't it?
[ sighs. but they smile all the same. ]
Of course I do. And he's going to be falling apart with worry once he learns I'm not there.
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The overlap helps. I understand some members of our team better than others, but...I'm working on others. I can't promise it's going well but I'm trying.
[ ...a huff of understanding. ]
Overbearing is a good word for it, but maybe we're partially to blame for letting it happen. [ maybe they're partially to blame for enjoying it anyway. but he doesn't say that. ] ...how does that all work anyway? Us being here and them being there. How long can we avoid people knowing we're missing?
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That's how it always is. You won't get along with everyone right from the get-go. Even I don't always get along with my usual team.
[ they laugh. ]
Letting it happen... I don't think I could stop him if I tried. [ the humor bleeds out a moment later. ] As for that... Amethyst Snake is holding the fort. They've stopped time in our worlds for now.
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That makes two of us. [ it's much better now though. ] ...I do still want to hear about your team and everything sometime. When you think there's time. There's a lot I want to know, now that I think about it.
[ mostly because he recognizes how much overlap exists and it's reassuring. he thinks if he understands phoenix better, he can help more. there's a sympathetic little look because he sure does know how it is when a partner is stubborn, but then his expression fades to something thoughtful. ]
So I guess I should be thanking them next time I see them? I don't...even really want to think about what would be happening at home if time kept going.
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[ if only because they expect nico to have more questions about their time in this city, as well, and they still don't know much more than they've already shared about that. ]
Mm. They look at it as their job, in a way, but everyone appreciates a little gratitude, once in a while. Especially now that they're doing it for so many of you.
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Same principle though. Even if it's a job, it deserves the acknowledgement. So I'll mention it when I get there. Whenever that may be. [ ... ] I have questions about it, but I think I'll save those for them, too.
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They take their work very seriously, so I doubt they'll have any issue with answering questions.
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