[yeah. that's the part that became obvious to him. passing him the takoyaki.]
The thing is. I just think any one of us would have told you, if you mentioned you were getting anonymous messages to do stuff, "that's probably the moon." I mean, when the rules updated to make us kill each other, it was like. Yeah. Whoever is doing that is probably not a good dude.
You know, to some degree, I think most people feel like that. You may have been raised specifically to think that way, but everyone feels comfort in being able to rely on someone else's decision-making in a tight spot.
[He had been trying to keep it a secret for ages, but there's really no point to it now is there? He can't solve this on his own. He kind of has to rely on others now.]
I can't know for certain until I find that book, but...I think it might be how the man in white made all of this happen.
Okay. Well. We do have the book. But also, no, back up. Because you can't actually say "I got an anonymous email telling me to tell someone to kill someone, and that sounded fine at the time, but if a magic book was involved that might have been the reason" without explaining.
I accept your apology. I didn't come here to get one, though.
[i mean, he appreciates one, but inviting him to talk in person was partially because he was alarmed by what he said.]
I think it sounds like you already know this, but you have to think for yourself. Even if that's not how you were raised to be - you're only going to hurt more people if you don't learn how to think for yourself.
I know. I've been trying to get better at it. I was doing better for a while, when it was just the 12 of us, but I think I've regressed a bit in the last two months.
[He doesn't mean it as an excuse though, just as an explanation.]
...I wish I could have met a better adult, when I was little. Maybe things would be different then.
[it's not that he disagrees with that sentiment but it's like. c'mon man.]
Do you really want to meet some other version of yourself? That seems like it's just going to give you a complex about what your life should have been like.
Probably. But finding out if I had a good start to life in any timeline would be nice. I would hate to think that the orphanage is a constant throughout all the timelines.
To me, it sounds like you're looking for proof that your life didn't have to turn out like this, that you could be a different guy than the one you are now. But let me let you in on a little secret. It didn't. Those people didn't have to mistreat you. They could have made a different choice. And now you are the one in control, and you can make whatever choices you want, too.
You are the protagonist of your own life. Don't cede that to some other hypothetical you in some other hypothetical timeline. And definitely don't cede control over yourself and your own decisions to the people who hurt you. The only person who can make decisions for yourself is you.
[Emotionshare will give away that something Reigen said makes Tiger feel tense all of a sudden. His chest aches all of a sudden.
He's never really felt like the protagonist of his own life.]
That isn't strictly true, but I will admit I can make my own decisions now at least.
...even if I don't find the other me, I want to put this world back together before I go home. It's been trashed, by the moon and by us too, and I want to see things made right again.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
The thing is. I just think any one of us would have told you, if you mentioned you were getting anonymous messages to do stuff, "that's probably the moon." I mean, when the rules updated to make us kill each other, it was like. Yeah. Whoever is doing that is probably not a good dude.
no subject
I know. I should have thought more about it. It's weird though, I just didn't question it at the time. I just accepted it.
...I think a part of me found comfort in being told what to do, instead of having to make decisions for myself.
no subject
no subject
Yeah. I didn't even think to question it until I realized the book might be at play here.
no subject
no subject
[He had been trying to keep it a secret for ages, but there's really no point to it now is there? He can't solve this on his own. He kind of has to rely on others now.]
I can't know for certain until I find that book, but...I think it might be how the man in white made all of this happen.
no subject
Okay. Well. We do have the book. But also, no, back up. Because you can't actually say "I got an anonymous email telling me to tell someone to kill someone, and that sounded fine at the time, but if a magic book was involved that might have been the reason" without explaining.
no subject
You have the book?
no subject
no subject
Okay, good. But listen to me carefully: do not let the man in white get that book. If he gets it, then all hope is lost.
no subject
Don't have to tell me twice, I know. It's important, and that loser's not getting it.
no subject
And I'm sorry, for everything that happened. That even if I didn't do it myself, I still got you killed. That I hurt Danny in the process too.
no subject
[i mean, he appreciates one, but inviting him to talk in person was partially because he was alarmed by what he said.]
I think it sounds like you already know this, but you have to think for yourself. Even if that's not how you were raised to be - you're only going to hurt more people if you don't learn how to think for yourself.
no subject
[He doesn't mean it as an excuse though, just as an explanation.]
...I wish I could have met a better adult, when I was little. Maybe things would be different then.
no subject
No more feeling sorry for yourself or talking about yourself like you're some kind of lost cause. It doesn't help.
no subject
[But there's still time. He can keep working on this.]
Maybe the version of 'me' that exists in this timeline had better results. I should see if I can find him before I go back to mine.
no subject
Do you really want to meet some other version of yourself? That seems like it's just going to give you a complex about what your life should have been like.
no subject
no subject
To me, it sounds like you're looking for proof that your life didn't have to turn out like this, that you could be a different guy than the one you are now. But let me let you in on a little secret. It didn't. Those people didn't have to mistreat you. They could have made a different choice. And now you are the one in control, and you can make whatever choices you want, too.
You are the protagonist of your own life. Don't cede that to some other hypothetical you in some other hypothetical timeline. And definitely don't cede control over yourself and your own decisions to the people who hurt you. The only person who can make decisions for yourself is you.
no subject
He's never really felt like the protagonist of his own life.]
That isn't strictly true, but I will admit I can make my own decisions now at least.
...even if I don't find the other me, I want to put this world back together before I go home. It's been trashed, by the moon and by us too, and I want to see things made right again.