AUDIENCE: TAMA

[becomemod]

Comments

[ballies]

Goat said it was pretty hard for them to talk about it. Are you sure you want to?

[becomemod]

[ they think about it ]

I think I'll be okay. Something that hurt in the past doesn't feel as painful as the feeling now.

[ballies]

…

Grief is different for everyone, I think. That’s why you should just take it at your own pace. That might be fast, or it could be slow. Either way there’s nothing wrong with that.

[ … ]

There’s a memorial, isn’t there…? The one we can’t get to right now.

[becomemod]

[ Giving a nod ]

You sound like you have experience.

[ Are you okay, Tama? ]

There is! It should be opening up soon.

[ballies]

Not personally.

[ tama is fine— but— ] I know people who’ve lost people though. How it weighs on them for years afterwards.

[ me just noticing today that the memorial is open. ] … Will Mika and Rocket be on it too?

[becomemod]

[ They nod at that. ]

Like Ryuski? It seems to weigh super heavy on him.

[ A whole opening ] I hope so! If not, I'll make sure to add something there myself. While they might think of her as a villain, she is still one of my mice and it wasn't her fault this place is super unfair.

[ballies]

…

Yeah, it would. Just— keep an eye on him? If he starts spacing out, come find me. I can’t—

[ she looks frustrated for a moment. her lips twist slightly and then she sighs. ] I can’t help him like this. Not immediately, not when he needs me. I don’t plan on being too far from him if I can help it, but… there are some things I can’t do like this.

[ she’s no longer with him, always. how does she handle that? ]

They didn’t even account for it being an accident. Even the law back home would do that.

[becomemod]

[ Mouse is quiet for a moment before they hold out their hand for Tama. ]

I promise I'll let you know. I want to help Ryuski. [ ... ] How do you normally help him out? Are you two always together on missions?

I don't know why it's like that. From what those people were saying in the arena, it was something normal here before we arrived.

[ballies]

[ …

she’s quiet for a moment, and then she takes the hand and squeezes it. ]

We’re just always together. It’s how we’re meant to be. [ … ] I’m not going to talk about the details, that’s not mine to tell. But you’ll know — he gets distance, unfocused. If that happens, try and get him back into the present. Don’t startle him, but talk to him. Make sure he responds.

If he doesn’t, come and find me.

[ there are so many things she can do here — hold his hands, get him to look at her. but she’s separate and she can’t be there, and aware, 24/7. there’s are plus sides, but there are minuses too ]

Not since?

[becomemod]

[ They give a squeeze and nod. ]

I understand. [ They know that feeling. ] I will keep that in mind. Thank you for letting me know what to do.

[ They give another nod ]

That's what it sounds like. I don't know if it means that we were doing a really good job before or if it means it couldn't happen until you all got here. It's just really, really strange and a bummer.

[ballies]

[ she nods. it’s a little uncertain— leaving ryuki’s care in someone else’s hands is something she’s never done. not in over six years at this point. ]

… You’ve not found any of this suspicious? That we get dragged here and suddenly all these things that haven’t happened in ages are happening?

[becomemod]

I do. It's really strange and pretty frustrating. I'm hoping that with all of us together, we can figure out what is happening.

Trying to think too hard or planning things was never really my job before.

[ballies]

I’m pretty used to investigating things at least, even if it’s a little different here to what I’m used to. If I have to treat it like a job, that’s no issue.

What was your job before then?

[becomemod]

That would be helpful. We need to keep our eyes open for something out of place or pieces of paper.

Hitting things really hard!

[ballies]

Oh, right… the out of place thing. That’s going to be interesting to try and find.

… H… hitting things?

[becomemod]

Did someone tell you about it before?

Yeah! Hitting things really hard. [ As if saying it a second time makes it clearer ]

[ballies]

[ my phoenix thread is just before this one— ergo. ]

Yeah. I had a word with one of you about what to look out for.

[ ……. ] I take it you enjoy the whole hitting things really hard part?

[becomemod]

[ Bird ]

Oh? Which one of us?

I do! It's what I was raised to do.

[ballies]

[ birb. ]

Phoenix seemed interested in gaining more awareness of what’s going on as well. It’s not bad to be on the same page, I think.

Even if whoever’s giving you orders seems to want things obscured.

[ hmm. ]

Like… you trained from a young age, or…?

[becomemod]

[ Giving a nod ]

It does help to put our heads together.

It's pretty strange. We have all of these team activities, but also want us competing.

Yeah! My whole life I have been brought up to fight and follow orders.

[ballies]

… Yeah that is kinda weird. Do they think they’re promoting unity and also friendly competition that way? It’s not uncommon for teammates to form little rivalries to push themselves along.

[ huh. ]

Following orders too?

[becomemod]

Maybe they don't know how to team very well? Or maybe they are just stupid.

[ Probably not nice to say about whatever may be calling the shots here ]

Yeah. We would always follow Mother's orders or those Mother said we had to listen to.

[ballies]

Or they want things a little antagonistic.

[ ... ]

Mother?

[becomemod]

That would make sense.

[ Considering everything ]

Mother. She's the one that brought us all together and raised us.

[ballies]

Hard not to feel a little resentment if someone kills someone you care about.

[ hmm. ]

So…. she adopted you or something? [ squints ]