I can understand that. And no, I don't think that's weird. It's just easier for some to focus on other people instead of themselves. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you're looking out for yourself and what you want, too.
It can be lonely, yes. I wasn't on display all the time, and I didn't even have my partner at that point. I was well loved and well taken care of, but I was still alone as a tsukumogami. Sometimes young children can see or hear us, but not always. I don't think I would mind getting to keep this body. It just isn't something that we as touken danshi can rely on. We are, in the end, just the spirits of tools made by humans. I appreciate the concern regardless, Nico.
and when i don't know how to do that, that's what will's for to be honest
it's so uncertain is all. you can be adored and well taken care of but it's not the same as being able to really love back i guess it sounds kind of crappy when it's said like that because it just makes it seem like humans decide what you are and aren't allowed to do but i know you wouldn't see it that way and like i said i respect that i hope though that...i don't know. maybe you really do get to keep your body and get to live another life experiencing it i think i'm always going to be concerned about people i care about even when i can't change things that's all
Naturally. You two are good for each other. That's just one of the ways.
[ not that he needs to tell nico that. ]
But I do love them back, even as only a sword. I love Hijikata-san with everything I have. I loved the caretakers at the museum for taking care of me and keeping Hijikata-san's memory alive. I even loved Ichimura for carrying out Hijikata-san's last wish, when it meant I couldn't be there for his final battle. It's different than what humans are used to, I think, but it's not that we can't love at all, especially now. I will always love those who care for me. That includes you.
And part of being a tool means that our purpose is decided for us. If it weren't for that, I likely would have been lost to history alongside my partner the day our master died. It hurts, now, to think about it, and I don't necessarily want to go back to it. Maybe something will change and I want have to, but I don't think there's a way to know just yet. I'm not even sure what I'd do with a life of my own, now that I think about it. Maybe I'd sell medicine, like my master used to? Or spend my days writing poetry?
[ he does not need to tell nico that but it's nice to hear. instead, it is still existential hours so he focuses on the rest. ]
...when you put it that way it makes a little more sense like how animals communicate or how the memories of ghosts live. they might not be the same as a mortal's perspective, but it still exists
maybe it's just because i spent so long trying to figure out my real purpose that i have a hard time thinking of having a predetermined one which is on me obviously not you it's...kind of like how i feel about shame and the other cocoa puffs they were born from me and their original purpose was only to listen to me or fight against me but i didn't want that for them because they deserved their own freedom too i guess that's where this is coming from the cool thing about having a life of your own is being able to decide and try things and change your mind but uh. i cannot in good faith recommend poetry because i still don't get it (but i support your efforts i guess)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
And no, I don't think that's weird. It's just easier for some to focus on other people instead of themselves. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you're looking out for yourself and what you want, too.
It can be lonely, yes. I wasn't on display all the time, and I didn't even have my partner at that point. I was well loved and well taken care of, but I was still alone as a tsukumogami.
Sometimes young children can see or hear us, but not always.
I don't think I would mind getting to keep this body. It just isn't something that we as touken danshi can rely on. We are, in the end, just the spirits of tools made by humans.
I appreciate the concern regardless, Nico.
no subject
it's so uncertain is all. you can be adored and well taken care of but it's not the same as being able to really love back i guess
it sounds kind of crappy when it's said like that because it just makes it seem like humans decide what you are and aren't allowed to do
but i know you wouldn't see it that way and like i said i respect that
i hope though that...i don't know. maybe you really do get to keep your body and get to live another life experiencing it
i think i'm always going to be concerned about people i care about even when i can't change things
that's all
no subject
[ not that he needs to tell nico that. ]
But I do love them back, even as only a sword. I love Hijikata-san with everything I have. I loved the caretakers at the museum for taking care of me and keeping Hijikata-san's memory alive. I even loved Ichimura for carrying out Hijikata-san's last wish, when it meant I couldn't be there for his final battle.
It's different than what humans are used to, I think, but it's not that we can't love at all, especially now. I will always love those who care for me. That includes you.
And part of being a tool means that our purpose is decided for us. If it weren't for that, I likely would have been lost to history alongside my partner the day our master died.
It hurts, now, to think about it, and I don't necessarily want to go back to it. Maybe something will change and I want have to, but I don't think there's a way to know just yet.
I'm not even sure what I'd do with a life of my own, now that I think about it. Maybe I'd sell medicine, like my master used to? Or spend my days writing poetry?
no subject
...when you put it that way it makes a little more sense
like how animals communicate or how the memories of ghosts live. they might not be the same as a mortal's perspective, but it still exists
maybe it's just because i spent so long trying to figure out my real purpose that i have a hard time thinking of having a predetermined one
which is on me obviously not you
it's...kind of like how i feel about shame and the other cocoa puffs
they were born from me and their original purpose was only to listen to me or fight against me
but i didn't want that for them because they deserved their own freedom too
i guess that's where this is coming from
the cool thing about having a life of your own is being able to decide and try things and change your mind
but uh. i cannot in good faith recommend poetry because i still don't get it (but i support your efforts i guess)