[no. no, it's not what he said - right? no. it's not. but he could. he could give up on her any day now.
she falters a little at that last question. what has she done? nothing. she's just existed, and she was barely allowed to do that much. she swallows hard, looking down at the flame. she covers it carefully, trying to stop the darkness from getting in, trying to stop the darkness from putting it out. nimona, there's something you need to know.
she won't. she won't let it go out. she doesn't know what's in front of her, but she's old and she's tired and she's never really had anything else to do but move.]
further, and further, and further, and she'll realize - it's getting harder and harder to walk. her legs feel like lead. each step she makes feels mired. sticky. it takes heaving, painful effort to move.
Just Nimona, then. Why would anyone want to do what you do? says a voice. is that hanako? it must be. Why are you alive? Why should you be someone who gets to live, when I don't?
the flame is tiny, but it's protected. glory makes a soft noise - terror.
And you think she's going to tell us something about you, reigen's voice, And we're going to believe her, too. She has to be right about you. Your world hurt me. It could have killed me. ]
[she tries. she tries so hard to keep moving, but she doesn't. see the point, after a while.
she can practically see hanako standing in front of her. she tried to tell him that she wants him to live, too, that her future isn't anything if she doesn't have anything to hold onto, and how useless she is at making him believe it. he said all these sweet things, you should live, things are getting better, and she couldn't return the favor, and - that's another failure. what have you done for the world? nothing.
she's been waiting. this is about the point, this is the turning point - this is the longest it ever is. there's a line that she will cross and it will be one more person, it'll be a whole group of smiling faces that turn sour and the worst part is she doesn't know where the line is. she will just walk over it on accident one day and that'll be it. and reigen says it, like ballister, like gloreth, he says it out loud, and she realizes she's found it.
she doesn't even hear glory. you, your memories, your everything, the monster that you are, pulled reigen and nico and will into a nightmare based on the world who hated you, and hurt them. it could've killed them. she knows the thing that was supposed to represent her was what broke reigen's ribs. she's not stupid.
she slumps down to the ground. she's wrapped around the lantern so tightly. don't let the flame go out. i died. before showing up here. don't let it go out.]
[ when nimona slumps to the ground, she'll find that the world around her has vanished.
she sits alone in the dark, with nothing but the tiny, flickering light in her lantern. even glory seems to have vanished. it's just her, in a void, curled up and miserable and alone.
behind nimona, something speaks.
Poor dear. a voice says. this one's unfamiliar - it's a woman's voice. This world has been so cruel to you. ]
[she's still holding the lantern. it's still lit, right? it's still lit. that's the only thing she can hold onto. there's still light, somewhere. there's light in a white cloak warm around her shoulders, in a straw hat dropped on her head, in a bowl of ramen with extra chashu, in a blanket nest full of nail polishes.
[ the lantern is still lit! it is very, very dim, but it is the only source of light currently. the darkness is pressing closer.
Join me. the voice says. this is all your world is now: just a void, and you, a tiny light, and whatever speaks behind you. this presence is dark, but it's comforting. soothing. it wants to hold you, wants to cradle you safely away from the cruelty of the world.
The light is cruel, is it not? What Gloreth extolled was no friend to you. They throw the light to blind the rest from the despair and hatred that they breed.
But you, Nimona... you know better than that. You have seen how miserable the light can be. The hope they ask for is a lie. The warmth they promise is temporary. It is always, always snuffed out.
[join me. join me in the dark. it's tempting. but the thing is - she knows that neither are safe. there's never been a place for her in the light or the dark. years and years and years ago, a little girl, the symbol of light and justice, stood in between her and the rest of the village, lifting a sword, and she ran. and then, weeks ago, the queen killer, lurking in the dark, behind the scenes, pulled a sword on her too.
nowhere is safe. she thought she had something here, in oceanside. there's still a fire in this lantern. we still have a few weeks left. as long as he's still here, she can hold on. right?]
Why would I trust you, either? [you should be questioning everything!] Like you're not just going to turn around and use me, too?
[ the light does not go out because i rolled a fucking four. it is stubborn as hell. it flickers - warm candlelight, then blue light. if she looks at it, it feels like there's a shape in the flame, of a person. familiar shaped. someone warm.
why would i trust you. the voice laughs.
I like that spunk of yours. says the voice. You don't have to trust me. We are the darkness but we work on our own. We act not as one. Vide would want nothing less.
something is wrong, but nimona - you're so focused on that flame that you can't seem to tell.
[she focuses on the flame. she tries. she tries so, so hard to remember that she is loved, somewhere not here. she's gotten so far, these past weeks. thank you, for letting me in, i know it's hard for you, nico had said, and it felt good to hear.
she's so tired. she doesn't want to do this anymore. nobody ever comes to save her.]
You're gonna have to give me a better deal than that.
[ the voice comes closer, and it feels like it's wrapping around nimona. like a hug. like warmth. like all you've ever wanted.
the lantern light flickers.
and this is it, isn't it? this is that moment. this is the chance where everything could go wrong. where everyone has given up on you. where nimona, you could throw it all away. where a final betrayal will destroy you. she's right, isn't she? the voice. you could take the darkness. she's right.
but when you look down at the lantern in your hands, nimona, the blue flame is small. and then it gets stronger. and stronger. and stronger. for atmosphere.
and then there's a voice. no - two. three. four. five. and they're familiar. ace. ballister. reigen. nico. temenos. even the little knight from your trip here, all in unison. people you've grown to love and care for, people who have held out their hands to you.
THE TRUTH LIES IN THE FLAME.
you, nimona, say no.
the light flares - violent, bright blue - and you feel yourself being tossed into the air, floating in suspension. when you come down, you see your own reflection. you see yourself, in slow motion, staring as if you've been duplicated.
because this isn't a reflection. the blue light wraps around the creature you could have become, that maybe you were. that isn't you, and that won't be you. you are nimona. one of a kind. original. beloved, by the friends you've made in oceanside city. the light of the sacred flame washes it away - brilliant and blinding, and it forces you to close your eyes against its brightness, but you've never felt safer.
the world around you rattles, violently. the light fades, and you hit the ground on your feet, enough to create a crater. you stand in a temple, holding a black and red, twisted bow in your left hand. blood drips down your chest, from an injury that looks like it should have been a stab in the heart, sealed up around the edges and warm. you are injured - claws have raked into your torso, your arms, your legs. there's blood in your mouth. you stand at the altar of a temple, and you see your reflection in a pool of water in front of you. you see purple shadow slough off of your body, melting off. rebirth, like glass from sand. like a phoenix rising from ash.
you are yourself, nimona. no monster. your eyes are glowing blue.
you can hear sounds of pain coming from somewhere nearby that sound familiar- a set of stone stairs wind down from this strange altar, where a blue flame has been lit, and a rickety wooden bridge leads across the pool of water. you can distantly see the gnarling, hideous purple shadow at the entrance.
glory, your owl, is wrapped in shadows beside you - laying on the ground, her mouth covered with a shadowy hand as it drains the life from her body. you may want to do something about that. ]
[she's so absolutely disoriented by this - everything happens at once and she has no idea how to feel about any of it, staring at the monster version of herself with a terrified look. it was her. it was, before she was here. she feels nauseated, she can taste the blood in her mouth, and as she stares down at the shadows sliding off her, her mind tips sideways.
it doesn't feel real. it feels off-center. this can't be right, right? or maybe it is. she really does always have to save herself.
she stares down at the reflection, at her glowing blue eyes, and flinches. spits blood, and wipes the back of her mouth, and then looks away. she doesn't want to look anymore.
for a minute, she thinks she should just leave glory behind. for a minute she thinks what the fuck did you ever do for me, gloreth. there's something bitter and pained in her chest that she can't ever get rid of, but she swallows it down. she swallows the rest of the blood, and throws the bow to the ground before going to try and rip the shadow hand off of the owl with her bare hands.]
ANYWAY NO it's. bad. her reflection ripples - when she spits blood, the glowing blue disappears. the monstrous creature is in her reflection, staring back at her, eyes dead, no one home, but it vanishes when she turns away, too, the specter of something that may haunt nimona for the rest of her life.
when she throws the bow on the ground, it rattles, ominously, angrily, like its pissed off. the shadows squeal unhappily, a terrible, shrieking noise - but when she pulls, she's able to yank glory free. the owl gasps for air and starts kicking at the shadow, too, until her feathers fluff and she's able to burst free.
she gasps. Nimona! and then flies around her in a circle, like she can look her over.
nimona, you're in bad shape, but you're alive. your heart hurts, but it's yours. your body hurts, but its yours. spit out the blood, kid. you've got a final battle to face. ]
[for a second, she falters, her expression wobbling fiercely, when glory bursts free and tries to look her over. she's fine, she's fine. she's always fine. not even the dark wants her, not the light, not anything at all, and she knew this. she's known this.
she's alive. she reaches up for the owl and just, in a moment of weakness, tries to hug her.
and then turns and stumbles down the path towards the monster.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
she falters a little at that last question. what has she done? nothing. she's just existed, and she was barely allowed to do that much. she swallows hard, looking down at the flame. she covers it carefully, trying to stop the darkness from getting in, trying to stop the darkness from putting it out. nimona, there's something you need to know.
she won't. she won't let it go out. she doesn't know what's in front of her, but she's old and she's tired and she's never really had anything else to do but move.]
no subject
further, and further, and further, and she'll realize - it's getting harder and harder to walk. her legs feel like lead. each step she makes feels mired. sticky. it takes heaving, painful effort to move.
Just Nimona, then. Why would anyone want to do what you do? says a voice. is that hanako? it must be. Why are you alive? Why should you be someone who gets to live, when I don't?
the flame is tiny, but it's protected. glory makes a soft noise - terror.
And you think she's going to tell us something about you, reigen's voice, And we're going to believe her, too. She has to be right about you. Your world hurt me. It could have killed me. ]
no subject
she can practically see hanako standing in front of her. she tried to tell him that she wants him to live, too, that her future isn't anything if she doesn't have anything to hold onto, and how useless she is at making him believe it. he said all these sweet things, you should live, things are getting better, and she couldn't return the favor, and - that's another failure. what have you done for the world? nothing.
she's been waiting. this is about the point, this is the turning point - this is the longest it ever is. there's a line that she will cross and it will be one more person, it'll be a whole group of smiling faces that turn sour and the worst part is she doesn't know where the line is. she will just walk over it on accident one day and that'll be it. and reigen says it, like ballister, like gloreth, he says it out loud, and she realizes she's found it.
she doesn't even hear glory. you, your memories, your everything, the monster that you are, pulled reigen and nico and will into a nightmare based on the world who hated you, and hurt them. it could've killed them. she knows the thing that was supposed to represent her was what broke reigen's ribs. she's not stupid.
she slumps down to the ground. she's wrapped around the lantern so tightly. don't let the flame go out. i died. before showing up here. don't let it go out.]
no subject
she sits alone in the dark, with nothing but the tiny, flickering light in her lantern. even glory seems to have vanished. it's just her, in a void, curled up and miserable and alone.
behind nimona, something speaks.
Poor dear. a voice says. this one's unfamiliar - it's a woman's voice. This world has been so cruel to you. ]
no subject
she wraps her arms around the lantern and doesn't move. not even when she hears the woman's voice behind her. she just hunches her shoulders up.]
Shut up. Leave me alone.
no subject
O traveler. You are right. There is nothing in this world or any other for someone like you. Nothing that you are near can ever shine.
distantly, she can hear ballister's voice echo again. monster.
and the woman continues: I am sorry. But perhaps you can see that just means that the world must change. ]
no subject
monster.
she flinches.
silence, and then:] What do you mean?
no subject
Join me. the voice says. this is all your world is now: just a void, and you, a tiny light, and whatever speaks behind you. this presence is dark, but it's comforting. soothing. it wants to hold you, wants to cradle you safely away from the cruelty of the world.
The light is cruel, is it not? What Gloreth extolled was no friend to you. They throw the light to blind the rest from the despair and hatred that they breed.
But you, Nimona... you know better than that. You have seen how miserable the light can be. The hope they ask for is a lie. The warmth they promise is temporary. It is always, always snuffed out.
no subject
nowhere is safe. she thought she had something here, in oceanside. there's still a fire in this lantern. we still have a few weeks left. as long as he's still here, she can hold on. right?]
Why would I trust you, either? [you should be questioning everything!] Like you're not just going to turn around and use me, too?
no subject
why would i trust you. the voice laughs.
I like that spunk of yours. says the voice. You don't have to trust me. We are the darkness but we work on our own. We act not as one. Vide would want nothing less.
something is wrong, but nimona - you're so focused on that flame that you can't seem to tell.
Let me set you free. ]
no subject
she's so tired. she doesn't want to do this anymore. nobody ever comes to save her.]
You're gonna have to give me a better deal than that.
[go away.]
no subject
the lantern light flickers.
and this is it, isn't it? this is that moment. this is the chance where everything could go wrong. where everyone has given up on you. where nimona, you could throw it all away. where a final betrayal will destroy you. she's right, isn't she? the voice. you could take the darkness. she's right.
but when you look down at the lantern in your hands, nimona, the blue flame is small. and then it gets stronger. and stronger. and stronger. for atmosphere.
and then there's a voice. no - two. three. four. five. and they're familiar. ace. ballister. reigen. nico. temenos. even the little knight from your trip here, all in unison. people you've grown to love and care for, people who have held out their hands to you.
THE TRUTH LIES IN THE FLAME.
you, nimona, say no.
the light flares - violent, bright blue - and you feel yourself being tossed into the air, floating in suspension. when you come down, you see your own reflection. you see yourself, in slow motion, staring as if you've been duplicated.
and you are a monster, wreathed in black and blue shadow.
but you aren't, are you?
because this isn't a reflection. the blue light wraps around the creature you could have become, that maybe you were. that isn't you, and that won't be you. you are nimona. one of a kind. original. beloved, by the friends you've made in oceanside city. the light of the sacred flame washes it away - brilliant and blinding, and it forces you to close your eyes against its brightness, but you've never felt safer.
the world around you rattles, violently. the light fades, and you hit the ground on your feet, enough to create a crater. you stand in a temple, holding a black and red, twisted bow in your left hand. blood drips down your chest, from an injury that looks like it should have been a stab in the heart, sealed up around the edges and warm. you are injured - claws have raked into your torso, your arms, your legs. there's blood in your mouth. you stand at the altar of a temple, and you see your reflection in a pool of water in front of you. you see purple shadow slough off of your body, melting off. rebirth, like glass from sand. like a phoenix rising from ash.
you are yourself, nimona. no monster. your eyes are glowing blue.
you can hear sounds of pain coming from somewhere nearby that sound familiar- a set of stone stairs wind down from this strange altar, where a blue flame has been lit, and a rickety wooden bridge leads across the pool of water. you can distantly see the gnarling, hideous purple shadow at the entrance.
glory, your owl, is wrapped in shadows beside you - laying on the ground, her mouth covered with a shadowy hand as it drains the life from her body. you may want to do something about that. ]
no subject
it doesn't feel real. it feels off-center. this can't be right, right? or maybe it is. she really does always have to save herself.
she stares down at the reflection, at her glowing blue eyes, and flinches. spits blood, and wipes the back of her mouth, and then looks away. she doesn't want to look anymore.
for a minute, she thinks she should just leave glory behind. for a minute she thinks what the fuck did you ever do for me, gloreth. there's something bitter and pained in her chest that she can't ever get rid of, but she swallows it down. she swallows the rest of the blood, and throws the bow to the ground before going to try and rip the shadow hand off of the owl with her bare hands.]
no subject
ANYWAY NO it's. bad. her reflection ripples - when she spits blood, the glowing blue disappears. the monstrous creature is in her reflection, staring back at her, eyes dead, no one home, but it vanishes when she turns away, too, the specter of something that may haunt nimona for the rest of her life.
when she throws the bow on the ground, it rattles, ominously, angrily, like its pissed off. the shadows squeal unhappily, a terrible, shrieking noise - but when she pulls, she's able to yank glory free. the owl gasps for air and starts kicking at the shadow, too, until her feathers fluff and she's able to burst free.
she gasps. Nimona! and then flies around her in a circle, like she can look her over.
nimona, you're in bad shape, but you're alive. your heart hurts, but it's yours. your body hurts, but its yours. spit out the blood, kid. you've got a final battle to face. ]
no subject
she's alive. she reaches up for the owl and just, in a moment of weakness, tries to hug her.
and then turns and stumbles down the path towards the monster.]
no subject
the owl immediately wraps both wings around her, fiercely, and hugs her back.
and now you can go help out ponta!!!! ]