audience: ace

[becomemod]

Comments

[selfimmolation]

[ mods go to BED ]

Pretty much always. You offering? [ sliding over just close enough to see what kind of omelet goat is making like owo ]

[becomemod]

[ no ]

Yeah, I don't mind cooking for people.

[ This is bacon, cheese and mushrooms. ]

Any specific ingredients you like?

[selfimmolation]

I like meat and spicy food best, but I'm not picky. [ lookin at things... ] Anything I can do to help?

[becomemod]

You can get the peppers and meat out and cut them into pieces.

[ There's enough room for two people to work in this kitchen. ]

[selfimmolation]

Can do.

[ he is Not a cook but he's skilled enough with a knife that it is not a huge embarrassment when he goes to do just that. like he has no technique for cutting the pepper but he knows the seeds don't go in the food. we will give him one star because he tried. anyway while doing that: ]

So, about last weekend...

[becomemod]

[ They're currently beating the eggs, so their hands are occupied, but their voice goes somber. ]

I'm sorry. I... we couldn't do enough.

[selfimmolation]

[ ah. ]

Yeah, well. Neither could I. [ chop chop ] I'm not here to yell or play blame. I get you guys didn't want it to happen anymore than we did.

[becomemod]

We're on the same page.

[ It doesn't make sense to execute somebody for an accident. Shouldn't it just be jail time?

They add some butter to the pan. ]

Are your ingredients ready?

[selfimmolation]

Oh, yeah, sure. [ hands them over... ] Anyway, I didn't mean about that. I figure you guys have heard enough about it by now. And I'm not going to apologize for the jail thing either.

[ he preemptively said sorry anyway!!!! ]

You said someone else than the mayor made that call, about the execution. Did you guys ever learn who it was?

[becomemod]

You did apologize about it.

[ It's literally in writing. ]

That's the weird thing. They said it was somebody important, but they also couldn't tell us who. When we tried to look into it, we just got the runaround.

Something feels off.

[ Adds the eggs and ingredients together. ]

[selfimmolation]

I wasn't apologizing about doing it.

[ it was a sorry im about to cause trouble byyyye apology, very different. ]

Something more than feels off at this point, considering our new rules update. Designated villain hours?

[becomemod]

[ They are trying so hard to maintain themselves, but it's clear they're stressed out. ]

It's insane. Villain hours shouldn't be a thing at all. What the hell is going on? Who even has this much access? How are they managing to do any of this?

[selfimmolation]

Maybe this place has been infiltrated by villains. That's a theory running around.

[ not that ace places a lot of faith in that one because it's very label-y... government people can be terrible on their own ]

You've never met anyone higher up than the mayor before?

[becomemod]

[ Stressed++ ]

That would come right out of a comic book. [ They're not completely sure they believe that theory either. ]

I haven't.

[ They're keeping an eye on the omelet. ]

[selfimmolation]

I don't have any solution to figuring things out from your end. I've never had to work within the laws. [ he has not made this a secret. ] But I doubt any of this stuff has been a coincidence. Our arrival, whatever happened on Thursday night...

[ ... ]

If we'd given the wrong name, do you think they would've gone for an execution then too?

[becomemod]

I've never had to work with them this closely before either. But, you're right. There's way too much stuff changing at once.

[ They flip the food and stare at it, hand clenching tight around the pan handle. ]

...

I think they would've.

[selfimmolation]

... Yeah. That's what I figured.

[ and, well, fuck, he's already told goat he's dead, he might as well admit: ]

I was at my own before we got here.

[becomemod]

...

I'm sorry.

[selfimmolation]

Ah, don't... [ waves it off ] I got myself in that situation. I mean, that's why I was fine taking her place, if I could've. But I probably shouldn't have put it on you. It's kind of messed up to ask. So, sorry about that.

[becomemod]

It's...

[ It's not fine to be that flippant about your own life but. ]

We all did what we could and what we were able to. So I don't think it's something you need to apologize to me for.

[selfimmolation]

Maybe not. [ ha. ] Still, you're not ...

You've got a pretty normal life outside this place, right?

[becomemod]

Yeah.

[ The omelet finishes and they hand it off to Ace, along with a fork. ]

Honestly, it was really normal. The only secret I have is that my childhood friend currently runs away every time he spots me.

[selfimmolation]

Thanks. [ taking the omelet and immediately eating it. and then speaking with his mouth full: ] Why's he been doing that?

[becomemod]

[ They take their own, but don't talk with their mouth full. ]

That's what I want to know! It's hard to talk to somebody when they're running away.

[selfimmolation]

[ swallows his mouthful ]

This is good, by the way! [ important. food. anyway; ] He hasn't said anything? Just stopped talking to you? Maybe he's embarrassed about something.